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The first Tuesday of each month is a series I’m calling the Coach’s Corner. I have the honor to be with some high caliber, high performing people daily and there are frequent takeaways I want to share with you because that’s how we learn.
So on the Coach’s Corner, I’ll talk about a challenge, a win or some form of a breakthrough from my time with an actual client.
In today’s episode, I want to talk with you about two mistakes that new leaders can’t afford to make but tend to make anyway.
1. being afraid to ask for help, and
2. thinking as a leader that you’re supposed to have all the answers.
Being a new leader is challenging. As a new leader, you have some insecurity. You feel ready, but you have some doubts and fears.
It’s not uncommon to have uncertainty about your new role and how you’ll take it on.
Even if you’ve had some mentoring from someone in the company - and I’m assuming that someone made time to do that for you… I’ve found that the mentoring and guidance is very functional and tactical. It focuses on the tasks you’ll do.
But truly mentoring someone means you’re helping them navigate the insecurity and uncertainty they’re feeling, because when people are unsure or uncertain about what to do they either put it off for another time, or they avoid it altogether.
And that leads to the two mistakes that new leaders can’t afford to make, yet most people make them anyway, being afraid to ask for help, and
thinking you’re supposed to have all the answers.These are directly connected to having confidence that’s covered by humility.
The reality is, no one has all the answers. If they tell you they do, then you might want to find another mentor. That’s why you build a strong team of smart people and give them a system to succeed individually and collectively.
Don’t miss this: If you hired well, you have a solid team of people who are closest to the action, skilled at what they do, and are motivated to do excellent work. But the fastest and surest way to cause them to lose confidence in you, is when you ignore them.
I don’t mean that you turn the other way in the hallway; but they don’t know how they’re doing or you don’t listen to their concerns or ideas.
When this happens over time, there’s a growing issue where not only have the people on your team lost confidence in you, they’re starting to lose trust in you.
Take it from me, the worst feeling in the world is when your boss tells you that people on your team are frustrated with you and they’ve lost respect in you as their manager.
That’s hard to hear and it’s hard to recover from.
The second thing you can’t afford to do is believing that you should have all the answers.
When I’m working with clients 1:1 or group coaching, I ask the question, what is confidence that’s NOT covered with humility?
People respond with words like arrogance, ego and prideful.
And then I ask them, What does a prideful person NOT do?
Nearly every time the response I get is, They don’t ask for help.
That’s because it’s easy to fall into the imposter syndrome and we don’t want to be perceived as weak or unqualified or in over our heads.
Whether you’ve been the CEO for years or you’re a new leader, there will never be a time you won’t need to ask for help in some form.
You will need help.
And being able to seek guidance from someone you trust will be the difference between success and failure.
How would you handle this situation?
Have you ever had this happen?
How would you respond to this?
When you have people around you that care about you and are invested in the success of the entire team, when they’re willing to be open and honest with you and call you out, and you listen to what they’re telling, then you are operating with confidence that’s covered by humility.
If you don’t seek help from a trustworthy colleague or manager you are going to make more mistakes, bigger mistakes, and it might not end well.
Confidence covered by humility gives you the courage to ask for help and to admit when you don’t have the answers. It makes you more genuine, more relatable and shows your desire to be better today than you were yesterday.
If you’re a business owner, executive, director, manager.. whatever… take a second and ask yourself, Do we have a culture in this company that encourages leaders to ask for help?
Or, are we doing something that discourages it?
Don’t just ask people closest to you. Ask people around the company what they think; people who’ll give you honest answers, not just the answers they think you want to hear.
You might be surprised what you learn.
I’m James Mayhew and I am blessed to partner with leaders to build purpose-driven organizations that are filled with talented people doing exceptional work on the most important things.
Thank you for listening!
– James
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